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The difference is deceptively simple, but it makes a world of difference.

See, one of the fears of being inexperienced is that your potential partners will see it as a negative.

When you write a dating advice column, one of the inevitable questions that comes up is the idea of inexperience.

For many men, especially as they get older, dating inexperience is a vicious catch-22.

But here’s the fun thing about numbers: they don’t tell you as much as we think.

Much like that annoying guy who’d rage quit from your DOTA session if you didn’t do things Just So, they treat dating as a series of steps that To these would-be dating Min-Maxers, you have a limited time within which to get your various firsts – your first date, your first kiss, your first sexual experience, etc.

This is just as true with a lack of dating experience as it is with other areas in life. Many people who have no dating or sexual experience worry about being a bad kisser or a bad lay or not knowing how affectionate to be in public or any of a myriad insecurities and anxieties.

Having little (or no) experience has nothing to do with who you are as a person; it’s a contextless data point in your life. But No matter how many partners we’ve had or haven’t had, we all come to a new relationship not knowing the other person’s likes and dislikes.

You don’t need to explain or justify it; trying to find reasons why it’s less “shameful” than others’ just reinforces the idea that there’s something shameful about it in the first place.

You don’t need to explain or excuse your lack of dating experience; “I had other priorities” or “Just hadn’t met the right person” are all you need to say if pressed.

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