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"ADHD is a disorder of self-regulation and self-control," Russell A.
Barkley, Ph D, clinical professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina and ADHD expert, tells Buzz Feed Health.
This is why it's so important for the couple to have a shared understanding of the disorder and the problems and patterns it can create in a relationship."ADHD isn't an excuse, it's an explanation," J.
Russell Ramsay, Ph D, co-director of the Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania, tells Buzz Feed Health.
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The person with ADHD often feels demoralized, ashamed, anxious, inadequate, and misunderstood.
Their partner can feel burdened, ignored, disrespected, unheard, and misunderstood.
So if you have four or more of the DSM symptoms or notice all of these patterns and issues below in an otherwise healthy relationship, Ramsay says, you may want to consider contacting a psychologist, psychiatrist, or neurologist who can provide an ADHD screening.This attitude could discourage someone with ADHD from getting treatment that could change their life and turn a relationship around. And because people with ADHD tend to thrive with novelty and spontaneity, this part of the relationship can seem effortless."What you'll often see in the beginning is an engaging, dynamic, carefree, risk-taking individual."Hyperfocus" basically happens when people with ADHD can become so deeply focused or enamored with something that they can't let go or stop when they're supposed to switch to something else.(Often known as "being in your own little world.")In the context of relationships, it can mean the person with ADHD initially puts all of their focus and energy into their new partner — dropping everything to see them, showering them with attention, listening to every little story.There's no magic cure for ADHD, but the right treatment can help reduce core symptoms and the issues they cause in a relationship so they're easier to work through."If you have ADHD, you need to find the right treatment (whether that's medication or another therapy), be willing to stick with it, and find accommodations so your environment is more conducive to your productivity," Barkley says. It's about managing the disorder effectively both inside and outside of the relationship for life.For the purpose of clarity and conciseness, we’ll use ADHD in this article.Since adult ADHD is often undiagnosed or unmanaged — 4.4% of adults have it, but only 10% of those people have been diagnosed and treated — couples may not even be aware that the disorder is causing problems in their relationship.Not to mention, even if the person with ADHD is diagnosed and treated, they still might hesitate to tell a new partner because of the stigma around the disorder."As you get to know someone, you might need to have a conversation and open up about your ADHD — just like any other mental illness — to help your partner understand and prepare for symptoms," Ramsay says.